TRAILER REVIEW: ‘Somewhere’ or The Return of Stephen Dorff

The first sincere idea I ever had for a movie was about a young gangster in 1980s Nashville. In 2002, I wrote 12 pages — the film’s opening scene — in which the main character, whose name was Elvis Reichert, walked into a country radio station, burst through a studio door and assaulted the DJ while he was on the air. I’ll spare you the reasons why that happened. (They weren’t all that interesting, but that’s a pretty damn good idea for a first scene. Any audience would commit after seeing that.) Regardless, when I told college friend, one-time Cribbster contributor and Disco Vietnam frontman Barry Schwartz the idea he wondered who could play Elvis.

TRAILER REVIEW: ‘Cop Out’ or Kevin Smith’s new movie

“Cop Out” is not actually called “Cop Out.” At least it shouldn’t be. It’s Kevin Smith’s first movie since “Zack and Miri Make a Porno,” which was kind of a failure because it didn’t make an extraordinary amount of money (which happened because The Weinstein Co. didn’t know how to market a movie with “porno” in the title).

TRAILER REVIEW: ‘Date Night’ or holy crap, is this ‘True Lies’ Jr., maybe?

Oh, boy, what to make of “Date Night.” Just a glance at the flick’s iMDB page is pretty damn intriguing. Look at that cast. Steve Carell and Tina Fey? Ray Liotta? Mark Wahlberg? And Kristen Wiig? Whoa, whoa, whoa: James Franco! And COMMON! What is 20th Century Fox trying to achieve? More to the point: What’s wrong over there? It’s like someone got wasted at that giant, futuristic computer terminal they use to cast movies and went wild, maniacally hitting buttons, pulling levers and pressing pedals or whatever.

TRAILER REVIEW: ‘Bronson’ or welcome a new Brit to the directorial pantheon

So, this one comes fresh with ready-made Stanley Kubrick comparisons.

TRAILER REVIEW: ‘The Men Who Stare At Goats’

This is a pretty interesting trailer for a number of reasons, but let’s start with the title, which is awful no matter how clever the book on which it’s based is: “The Men Who Stare At Goats.”